Laura Craciun

My Son Is Not a Criminal.
How Laws Send Our Children to Prison.

Unjust laws continue to send our sick children to prison. And my son, Nick, wasn’t always sick.

Nick had always been a loving and respectful boy. He was handsome and charismatic, a high school athlete excelling in track, gymnastics, wrestling, lacrosse, football and boxing. During Nick’s senior year of high school, he experienced his first psychotic break and was hospitalized for a month. Terrified, we had no idea of his whereabouts from April-July 2022.

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In July, Nick sat down with us to explain what happened. With a monotone voice he recounted his delusional thoughts as if they were completely normal. We tried getting him help at the hospital but were turned away. That August, Nick returned home one day after losing a stonemason job that he held for one month. He had thrown away all his possessions and believed he could control others with his eyes. Ultimately, Nick was involuntarily transferred to the hospital again and released after a month with an official diagnosis of bipolar-1 with psychotic features. He was sent home with antipsychotic medication that he refused to take.

In early November, Nick’s dad was chopping vegetables when Nick grabbed the butcher knife, went face-to-face, and asked him three times in a row, “Do you want to die?” He was involuntarily held for the third time in less than a year, where they later took him to court for a civil commitment order. It was granted. The judge found that Nick was not competent, was not able to make informed decisions for himself, and that failure to keep him in the hospital would create a likelihood of serious harm. A judge ordered Nick to be treated with an antipsychotic medication despite his reluctance to accept treatment. Nick suffers from anosognosia, a lack of insight into his illness, and therefore is unable to rationalize the need for treatment.

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The hospital found Nick to be uncooperative and unwilling to actively participate in treatment. Though injectables were an option, they were not administered because Nick voiced a preference to take oral medications. But it’s often difficult to determine if the pills were actually taken. Despite having a court order in which the hospital could force medications and keep Nick for up to six months, he was released to a homeless shelter after five weeks.

Nick was eventually kicked out of the homeless shelter for his behaviors. We were afraid to let him come home. He had no place to go. Like so many, Nick was forced out on the streets. His illness prevented him from being able to think logically and follow through with normal daily functions. It was impossible for him to follow up with the one and only aftercare appointment. Nick was set up for failure, allowed to remain psychotic, cold and unsheltered on the streets of Massachusetts, putting himself and others in danger.

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In December 2023, Nick was allowed to come home to spend a night with his father. His dad had received a call to come pick him up from a spiritual retreat that Nick was attending. The person who called said that Nick was acting strangely and could not stay. Nick hadn’t eaten or slept for days, was talking to himself, and reported seeing and hearing the devil, waking others up telling them he was concerned for all humanity. We also learned that he had thrown away all his belongings, including a sleeping bag. At home Nick was paranoid and kept asking his Dad not to point his fingers at him though he was not. Nick was too afraid to sleep alone on the couch, so his father dragged a mattress to the floor to sleep nearby. Nick made him nervous by his intensity and when he came close to him, he asked Nick for more personal space, at which point Nick elbowed his father in the eye, almost knocking him unconscious. His Dad struggled to get outside for help, as Nick continued to violently attack his father, continuously punching him, tackling him, head-butting and biting his back, neck and fingers. Neighbors called 911, and waited for police to arrive as they watched helplessly in horror. Police arrived and pepper sprayed Nick, restrained and sedated him, and he was brought to the hospital again.

The doctors who examined Nick requested he be sent to a mental hospital, not prison. Nick was sent to prison until the next day when his attorney requested an evaluation. Nick was then transferred to Bridgewater State Hospital for evaluation, where he stayed seventy-six days.

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Nick currently has three open court cases and an arrest warrant in North Carolina. It wasn’t until the last arrest when Nick attacked his father and the family provided past medical history to the attorney, that anyone even considered that these crimes were committed as a result of Nick’s untreated psychotic illness. Nick reported to the attorney currently defending him in the most recent case that he doesn’t have a mental illness and has never received treatment.

The state-funded lawyers delayed the commitment hearing twice, fighting for Nick’s right to choose whether or not he wanted treatment. The medical team at the state hospital had strongly believed that Nick needed treatment and was not competent to make this decision on his own. In January, the judge declared him incompetent.

Almost two months later, Nick appeared “competent” when he went before the judge who would decide whether he’d be committed. For some reason, the attorney for the state hospital withdrew the request for forced medication during that civil commitment hearing and the judge was just ruling on Nick’s competency. The judge's exact words were, “someone can have delusions and be competent.” Nick was sent to prison that night - criminalized for his brain disease.

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Nick sits in his small cell, believing he deserves punishment and to be “taught a lesson.” He believes he should spend time in prison because mental hospitals are too nice. He has declined any treatment when the options are voluntary.  When I visit him in jail, my son tells me how everyone had a mental illness in the state hospital but him, and that’s why he didn’t belong there. How can one be an active and effective participant in their own defense if they don’t understand what is real and not real?

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Bail was denied at the most recent hearing as Nick’s dad wrote a letter to the victim’s witness advocate that was presented at the hearing. During the hearing there was no real mention of Nick having a psychotic illness by either the prosecution or the defense - both made it sound like it was just a fight between a father and son. Fortunately, the letter that was sent spoke about Nick’s long history with a serious mental illness and concerns of Nick being let out into the community without treatment. We not only fear for our own lives but for the lives of others in the community.

Our hearts are shattered. I desperately miss my beautiful son, the real Nick who is in there somewhere and who I know could be helped with involuntary, long term treatment. But because Nick does not believe he is ill, he will in all likelihood plead guilty or accept a plea with a specified amount of jail time. Mental illness is not a crime, but our laws dictate otherwise.